Damn...
Its been a minute...
A year and five months to be exact.
Whats changed? Everything.
Yet nothing at the same time.
No...
I still cant type in complete paragraphs.
my mind thinks in separate thoughts about the same subject. hence the constant new paragraphs.
I'm a little drunk right now... and a few smokes in.
Yes, I'm smoking again... not a lot though.
Life is good right now, yet not so good at the same time.
Depends on how I decide my day is going to be.
I have decided to take control of my life. Good days and bad days depend totally on me.
I am in control. for a time i was not.. I'll get into that later...
Whats new?
My dad died...
R.I.P. Michael Karl Williamson
10/17/1964 - 5/4/2009
What can I say...
He was a man I didn't know very well... or at least not as well as I wish.
but at the same time thats my father. my blood. the man everyone says I look so much like.
We hadn't spoken in a few years.. mostly just a falling out of touch.
We were very similar.
I wasn't gonna call him. He wasn't gonna call me. both waiting for the other to make the first move.
I guess its genetic.
My mother had spoken to him.
I wish I could have spoken to him at least once.
but... ::shrug:: you just take it as a lesson learned and hope that it doesnt happen again.
sometimes somebodys gotta die for you to learn that lesson.
thats life...
He died in his sleep...
thats how everyone would like go.
R.I.P Pop
Steph and I are still together.
or maybe I should say back together...
we were broken up for like 2 weeks or so earlier this month.
one of the worst 2 weeks of my life.
You never know what you have until you've lost it.
I won't get totally into that, since I took this off of private, and I'm sure she'll read this sooner or later.
Hi Steph.
I love you.
we both did wrong, but were trying to work past it all.
I still have a little problem with trust, but time heals all wounds.
hopefully...
She is the woman I plan to marry.
I can say that because I'm not getting any younger...
I've lost some weight.
12 lbs to be exact. Im still working on a few more, but these things dont happen overnight.
Slowly, I feel my confidence coming back. I'll be back to the old me in no time.
I want another beer, but I feel like it will take away from my already diminished ability to type.
Nobody reads the garbage anyway... ::shrug::
much love

I saw I Am Legend last night.
good movie. People were clapping at the end. I hate when they do that. I mean... c'mon, it's not like the movie changed your life.
I got home at like 5:30a. I'm really tired.
I work at 1:15p. Same job.
Troy and I are checking out a bunch of warehouses. I put in at least one app a day. Somebodys gotta call... right?
::shrug::
whatever.
Steph is cool. I like her. She likes me. It feels good to be in a healthy relationship.
She enjoys taking care of me. I enjoy making her smile.
Cory is engaged. I'm pretty sure he's only been dating Kaylie for a little more than a year, but they've been living together for most of that time. I'm happy for him. He asked me to be the best man. Their date is set at October 5, 2008.
Looks like I'll have to return to Texas after all.
I suck at pool. I used to be good.
ok... decent. but now.. not so much.
My mind is working is short burst right now.
I'm gonna go eat breakfast

So...
Turns out I was gonna need a new head gasket for my car. That would have run me about 4 or $500. Who knows what else they would have found wrong with it after that. So I opted not to get it fixed, and get a new car. A used car to be exact.
I didn't really shop around, because I don't have the patience for all that. I found a car I liked, for the price I liked, so I got it. It's an '05 Chevy Aveo. It looks like a little clown car, but that bitch gets 37 MPG, so I've got no problem with that. I purchased a new factory warranty on it too, so If anything goes wrong, I've got it covered.
Only problem now is that I'm broke.
I kept my Dodge. Eventually I'll get it fixed, and Stephanie can probably use it to get to work.
The pregnancy test said she wasn't pregnant, but she still hasn't had her period, so I'm pretty sure it was wrong. She's gonna take another one tomorrow.
At least I'm sleeping through the night now.